Off the Bookshelf: The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is one of the most widely-reviewed and controversial books of the year, and some of its anecdotes--Chua calling her daughter "garbage", making her three-year-old stand in the cold until she agreed to practice the piano, and not allowing her daughters to attend playdates and sleepovers, or watch TV and play video games--have been widely cited in newspapers, magazines, and on talk shows.  Chua's stated aim is to explain the style of "Chinese Parenting", which she sets in contrast to "Western Parenting".  In the book, she explains the controversial nature of these terms, as well as their limitations.

With my interest piqued, I downloaded the "sample" of the book on my Kindle, and I soon found myself engrossed by an extraordinarily vivid tale of alpha parenting.  Indeed, I finished the book in just over a day, mainly because Chua's writing style is as hard-charging as her parenting style, and when I put the book down, I needed to catch my breath.  While it might be easy to dismiss Chua's parenting style as "over the top" (and yes, I think she's not just over the top, but WAY over the top), I think her book provides some extraordinary insights about parenting.  In The Atlantic Magazine, reviewer Caitlin Flanagan captures the essence of Chua's arguments and philosophy: 

Kids are inherently strong, not weak; self-esteem derives from accomplishing difficult and worthwhile pursuits; adults are better than children at judging what does and does not constitute a valuable or enriching experience; the better you get at something, the more you will enjoy doing it; and a great deal of what is on offer to American teenagers these days is not only coarsening but downright dangerous.

While I am certainly not advocating some of the extreme parenting measures employed by Chua, her book speaks to the power of high standards and the value of pursuing excellence in a worthwhile activity.  A few years ago, I did an exercise with a group of faculty members, asking them to describe the "best" teacher they ever had, and what quality it was about the teacher that made them so great.  In a room of fifteen teachers, every single person shared essentially the same response: the best teacher they ever had was the most demanding teacher they ever had; someone who pushed them beyond their own perceived limits.

The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a deeply engaging book; it's worth reading.